A pirate come back from sea...

He stops at the barber for a trim on his beard. The barber is aghast at the sight of the pirate.
Barber : What happened to you??? When you left you were fine but now look at you!!
Pirate: Whaddaya mean to say?
Barber: You got a wooden leg now, when you left you had both legs...
Pirate: Oh this? We were in a ship to ship battle and a cannonball got my leg, but the doc gave me this peg and I'm just fine.
Barber: But you have a hook hand now, when you left you had both hands!
Pirate:Oh that? We were fighting natives on an island and one cut off my hand, but the doc fixed me up with this hook and I'm fine.
Barber: But your eye! You had both when you left.
Pirate: That...Well it was a beautiful day with not a cloud in the sky. I saw a gull overhead and as I looked at, it crapped in my eye.
Barber: You can't lose your eye from that!
Pirate : See I hadn't gotten used to the hook yet...