A Night of Passion - comedic short story

John hurried home from work, Tonight was the night he was looking forward to all week
his marriage has been in the toilet for the last 3 years due to lack of sex
his wife... Jill... has been out of shape since the baby

she no longer has interest in her body or Johns

But tonight!... is the night that all changes


One week earlier John went to a sex shop called FUXXX and purchased an assortment of items for the night.

whips, lubes, leather ski mask... rubber dick....good quaity rope


John needed this night!... his boss was ramming his cock into johns ass at work (Figuratively)

the stress of his job and his four year old spazz son Roger... made john have suicidal thoughts



John pulls into the driveway with his car, A white 2004 Mazda Miata Convertible


so excited to begin his night of sexual release ....he forgets to lock his car door


Jill, in her pajamas at 7:30 on a friday, .. awaits John in the living room

“How was your day at the office sweetie “ she says


”Fucking horrible” John Replies

John hates small talk


“ I was thinking of spicing it up tonight, maybe we could go to the bedroom and perform oral sex” said John

Jill replies “ I dont think so tonight John, my mouth is exhausted from talking on the phone all day with my sister”


“I need this!” screamed John


Jill... replies “ John! dont yell, you will wake up Roger!”



“well you better get your ass in the bedroom” john whispered... sexily


Jill... filled with doubt agrees to enter the bedroom



She lays on the bed, on her back... in a un flattering pose.... she makes no attempt to suck in her bloated stomach



John walks over to the dresser and lights a scented candle, Strawberry ice cream


“Mmm” says Jill “ I love that smell”


John smiles and thinks to himself “ thats because it reminds you of eating... your favourite thing to do”


John takes off his Fruit of the Loom size medium boxers , and tank top


“Oh ...is that a new tattoo?” says Jill


“No?” says John



John reaches for the leather whip and rope from the sex bag


“im going to tie you up, but not that hard, just enough to leave a small bruise” John says


“What!...Have you been drinking those whey protein shakes your brother gave you? Where is all this coming from” says Jill

John Yells..” Its coming from NOT! cuming”
Johns brother owns a small mens health food store, mostly bullshit products.
John hates his brother

He ties Jills hands tightly with the rope.


“Finally we can begin” he thinks to himself


John slowly removes Jills un flattering pajama pants... only to reveal more unflattering underwear

“ I wear them for comfort” Jill replies


Jill has a small tattoo of her first husbands name, Craig ....Below her hip


it always bothered John to see another mans name so close to his wifes vagina

thankfully one positive of her weight gain, her gut now covers most of the tattoo.

only the letter G is visible.


John so filled with lust and wanting, lunges his mouth on Jills un shaved crotch beard


“OOOOHHHH” says Jill.. in excitement


a feint taste of urine enters John’s mouth

John immidiately changes his mind and grabs the whip

“ Bend over” says John

Jill turns over to reveal her frumpy cottage cheese like ass

john begins to whip her, alot

swap! swap! swap!


with each hit his erection grows harder

John thinks to himself “ I can’t believe this is finally happening”



it has been a long time since john felt boner blood enter his penis


Jill... now spanked to a pulp... her ass now resembling old hamburger meat

John...Nude and at maximum Girth.... adorns his head with the leather ski mask

“wow... you look so much like a killler rapist” says Jill



‘I ordered it from a Japenese website” John says


he squirts lemom flavored lube on his Dick Howard

His genitals now so wet and shiny


John begins to Laugh Loudly...and yells “ I Feel Like a GOD!”


So drunk with sexual power he goes back to the bag of items he purcahsed earlier...

He reaches into the bag to grab the Dildo... to DF Jill... ( Double Fuck)

He then realizes how much larger the rubber cock is to his own and becomes slightly insecure ... he changes his mind and drops it on the floor

It bounces twice


“What was that?” says Jill


John doesn’t respond



John jump’s on the bed, on top of Jill... Missionary position.


“ Mmmm, I want it now ” says Jill

John Replies “ When I’m ready Bitch!”

John’s eyes so wide and asshole puckering with sweat, slowly moves in closer to Jill.


John begins to line up his hang down... soo ready for the great plunge... so long since he had felt the pleasure of the moist clam...

“I’m gonna fuck you like a Fat Biker at a whore house!” John yells with such happiness

He hasn’t felt this good in years.


out of now where the bedroom door opens!

and he hears a strange voice behind him....

“Mommy I can’t sleep!” says Roger ( The idiot Son)

Jill immediately pushes John off of her and starts to soothe the child..

they both walk out of the bedroom and head to the kitchen for a warm glass of soy milk


John in complete shock, lays on the bed....mouth open....and cock pointing straight to the ceiling


“ why do you hate me god? why the fuck do you hate me!!” screams John


A few minutes later Jill walks back into the room, She tells John that Roger had a bad nightmare.

She is going to lay down with him until he falls asleep. She tells John to not wait up... it could be awhile

John.. so fucking pissed off and unfulfilled, yells out he’s going for a drive.

he wraps a towel around his now worthless erection and heads for the front door.

“ Don’t be such a baby!” says Jill from the other room

John tries to think of a come back to say to the bitch.... but can’t.


He walks out to the driveway, with only the towel covering him.. and gets into the car

he starts up the engine and begins to drive towards the King Henry Bridge


John starts to play the song “ Knockin on Heavens Door” from his blue iPod shuffle 2GB
A tear slowly falls from john’s eye to his cheek... the vibration of the car seat on his swollen blue balls... a reminder of the complete failure of the night


He gets onto the bridge.... and slams his foot down on the gas pedal.
“FUCK THIS WORLD” He screams
John closes his eyes and lets go of the steering wheel.

the car fly’s off the bridge and explodes at the bottom of the cliff.
John is killed instantly

after the funeral , Jill would later re connect with Craig, her first husband
they dated for awhile but eventually that fell through

she and Roger now live in Colorado in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment

Roger say’s he doesn’t remember much of his dad
and Jill never did lose the weight.




The end.