A man walks into a pet store

A guy goes to a pet store to buy an unusual pet and walks out with a centipede in a white box. Once he gets it home, the guy decides to take the centipede to his local bar and show it to his drinking buddies. He taps on the box and says, ‘Would you like to go to McGuire’s with me and have a beer?’ There’s no answer from the centipede. He waits a few moments then says, ‘How about you and me going to a bar?’ Again, there’s no answer. Thinking the centipede can’t hear him, the man goes right up to the box and yells, ‘Hey! Would you like to go to McGuire’s bar and have a drink?!’ A little voice comes out of the box, ‘I fucking heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.’

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.