A man walks into a bar carrying an octopus

When he sits down at the bar, the bartender ask, "Hey, what's the deal with the octopus?"

The man replies, "Oh this? This octopus is amazing. It can play any instrument!"

"Bullshit, " the bartender says. "I bet it can't play this piano!"

The man flops the octopus down onto the bench of the piano. To the bartender's surprise, the octopus begins playing the most beautiful rendition of Beethoven's Für Elise.

"Well I'll be damned..." gasps the bartender. "There's no way it play this here trumpet."

The octopus looks at the trumpet with its octupussy eyes before belting out the groovin'-est, jazziest, blues melody the bartender has ever heard.

"Holy shit..." the bartender says in disbelief.

"I told you," the man says confidently, "it can play anything!"

"You know what," the bartender replies, "I've got something that stupid cephalopod will never be able to play."

The bartender walks into the back and returns with a set of bagpipes, setting them on the bar in front of the octopus. The octopus begins to climb and crawl all over the bagpipes, seemingly unsure of what to do.

"See! I knew it would never be able to play them," the bartender shouts triumphantly.

"Play 'em?" Says the octopus. "As soon as I get this skirt off, I'm gonna to mate with 'em!"