"Hello, my name is John, and Ill be your guide today for your tour of the Royal Canadian Mint"
"Today, you will get to see the inner workings of how coins are made in Canada, and learn many intersting facts"
Contrary to popular belief, these facts were insanly dull, and the tour guide despised recounting them.
You see, the tour guide was tired of his job. In his professional opinion, showing fat, sweaty tourists a whole bunch of coins was possibly the worst job in the world, but it did pay the bills.
The tour began and the first stop was at the toonie machine. The tourists oohed and ahhed at the systematic spitting out of toonies, with their shiny silver rims and bronze cores.
"Did you know that the inner core of the toonie can withstand up to 181 kilograms of force" the guide stated, with an almost robotic voice.
The tourists scrunched up their faces, presumably attempting to process the fact, and convert the metric measurements into the imperial system.
"Any questions?" asked John,
The crowd was silent, and after a few seconds, a middle aged man raised his hand.
"Excuse me sir, but why did Canada choose to use a polar bear on the toonie?"
The tour guide sighed and said "I'm sorry but I'm not sure, you can check our website for further details. Anything else?"
Another man spoke up "Um, can we just move along?"
The crowd murmured in agreement, all except for the man that asked that first question.
The next stop was the quarter machine. The tour group coughed as the putrid fumes entered their nasal passages, but were amazed at the speed of which the machine could pump out quarters.
The tour guide spoke up again, in his boring drone "Did you know that Canada minted the first coloured coin in 2004, by adding a red poppy to the quarter. Any questions?"
The tour guide scanned the crowd, and saw the same man raising his hand.
"Yes" said the tour guide, with an exaggerated sigh.
The man, notably quite excited, asked "So, why is there a moose on the quarter?"
"I am, once again, not sure, please check our website for further information" said the guide, in a very annoyed tone. "Anything else?"
No one said anything, but a majority of the tourists stared at a dusty old machine in the corner, covered in cobwebs.
"If any of you are wondering, that there is the penny machine. It has been out of service for quite a while now, ever since the penny was phased out"
And I dont have a stupid fact to go with it, thought the tour guide
"Any questions?"
The guide eyed the crowd for 3 seconds, 5 seconds, and finally 10 seconds, with not a single hand raised.
Glaring at the man at the back, the guide asked "So, no questions about the maple leaf or anything, correct?"
"Nope" the man replied "It all makes cents"
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