A man is wakes up in a strange place...

And the only landmark is a fence. Seeing as he has no idea where he is, he follows the fence hopin there is a phone or something to help him get out of there. As he's following the fence, he starts noticing how beautifully made it is. Exceptional woodworking, perfectly complimentary staining, etc. He continues to follow the fence until he reaches a bar. As he's walking in he notices how beautiful the sign is. Excellent paint job, perfect framing, etc. He walks in and sits down.
"What can I getcha?" asked the bartender.

"Actually, do you have a phone?" replied the man.
As the bartender left to go fetch a phone the man noticed the quality of the bar. Great heft, classic look, etc.

The bartender comes back with the phone and the man compliments the bartender on his bar.
"Thanks, I made it myself."

"Really?" the man paused, "it's very beautiful."

"Well thanks, but do they call me John the barmaker? Nooooo! I made the sign out front, too."

"Both of them? You're very talented," remarked the man.

"Maybe, but do they call me John the signpainter? Nooooo!"

"You wouldn't happen to have made the fence leading here? It was the nicest fence I think I've ever seen!" the man complimented.

"Actually, I did. It's my masterpiece. But do they call me John the fencebuilder? Nooooo!"

The man continued dialing the phone as the barkeep under his breath says, "but you fuck one goat..."

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