A man is lost in the forest and stumbles upon a hotel.

Tired, lost and hungry; a John has been wandering through the woods for what has felt like days. He stumbles upon a strange house and feels a deep sense of relief as he notices a light is on.

He knocks and a peculiar looking old man opens the door.

"Please. Please. I am lost and hungry, do you perhaps have a phone and some food for me?" John desperately begs.

"I am afraid not" replies the well dressed man "for you see this is top class establishment. People come here for the isolation, so we have no phones, no modern technology and our food is of the highest quality; not to be simply given away. However, I could consider offering you a room and food for the night if you complete me 3 challenges - completion of them shall be considered payment for your stay. In the morning you can leave. Either way I can still point you in the right direction to get home but I must warn you it will be a days hike."

John, too desperate to turn down the offer asks "What are the challenges?"

"The challenges are as follows:

1) You must drink this bottle of tequila, in under one minute, for no challenge can be complete without drinking."

"OK"

"2) a guest of mine has brought their pet, an alligator. It is being stored downstairs but requires dental work. You will go down there and remove its bad tooth using these pliers. Do not worry, it is a small alligator, you should be able to overpower it easily. You will have 5 minutes to complete this challenge."

"That sounds dangerous but preferable to starvation, OK"

" 3) upstairs, one of our older guests has requested someone to lay with. You will be the one to lay with her. You must go upstairs and give her the best orgasm she has ever had. For this challenge you have 20 minutes."

"I can think of worse things to do, I accept your challenge"

John is invited in and instructed to the location of each challenge. He picks up the tequila and prepares himself. The timer is started.

John downs the bottle, painfully slugging it down. he finishes it with mere seconds to spare. The effects already kicking in powerfully.

He runs downstairs, stumbling as he goes, his fatigue is already showing. He closes the door behind him and a struggle is heard. The noises from downstairs are quite alarming but the hotel owner stands by the clock counting the minutes. Nashing and Growling and screaming are all heard, thrashing around and scratching.

Triumphantly, John emerges from the room, clothes ripped, battered and bruised. He stumbles up the stairs confused, looks to the hotel owner and drunkenly asks him:

"So....hhrrr..... where is the *hic* alligator with the bad tooth?"