The officer walks up to the car and says, "Where you going in such a hurry?"
The man replies, "Well officer, I'm heading to work. I'm a tad late."
The officer says, "Oh yeah, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm an asshole stretcher." The man replies.
"Oh really. And how exactly do you stretch an asshole?" Asks the officer.
"Well," says the man, "First you stick a finger in and work it around a little until you can get two fingers in. You work your two fingers around a bit until you can get three, then four, then five, then both hands, and eventually you can get it stretched out to about 6 feet."
"Really?" Says the officer. "What do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"
The man says, "Well, you give it a badge, and a gun, and a ticket book..."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.