Customer: excuse me sir, do you have any potatoes?
Shopkeeper: sorry sir, we don't have any of those. This is a hardware store.
Custome, confused: oh, I see.
Customer: excuse me, maybe you have tomatoes?
Shopkeeper, facepalming: no, sir. Maybe you should visit the grocery store nearby, because this is a HARDWARE store.
Customer: oh, ok, sorry.
Customer: so, maybe, do you have any onions?
Shopkeeper, angry: sir, is there "pot" in potatoes?
Customer: yes...
Shopkeeper: is there "mat" in tomatoes?
Customer: yes.
Shopkeeper: is there "fuck" in onions?
Customer, confused: ...no.
Shopkeeper: exactly! There's NO FUCKING ONIONS!
(Last line best read aloud. Yes, I know the right way is "there ARE no fucking onions" but it sounds better like this, IMO. Credit to my programming teacher.)
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