As he sat down, he accidentally knocked the spoon off the table. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed.
"Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?"
"Yes. Ever since we had an efficiency expert determine that most diners knock spoons off the table. By carrying extras with us, we save lots of time."
After the diner ate his meal he noticed a string coming from the waiter's fly.
"Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"
"Yes. All the waiters do. The same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands in the men's room. The other end of the string is tied to my penis. I simply pull the string to get out my penis, piss, then return to work. Having never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."
"That's some system you got there. But how do you get your penis back in your pants?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
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