A man and his ostrich walk into a bar

The bartender asks the what he wants. He asks for a steak and a beer. In a sultry female voice, the ostrich says she'd like the same.
The bartender is obviously surprised, but he takes the order anyway. The man pays with exact change and leaves, taking the ostrich with him.


The man and his bird become repeat customers, making the same order each time and always paying with exact change. Eventually, the bartender decides to ask about the elephant in the room.

"What's with the ostrich?"

The man finishes chewing his steak before responding.

"You wouldn't believe it, trust me."

"I gotta know."

The man sighed.

"Okay... I found a genie. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I decided to really think bout my wishes because I knew they would be the most important decisions of my life. At first I thought I'd wish for immortality, but then I realized how lonely that'd be. I decided to wish for long life and perfect health instead. I never have to worry about going to the doctor, anymore."

"What was wish number two?"

"I thought about wishing for a billion dollars, but that seemed silly. Where would I keep it? I decided instead to wish for exact change whenever I needed it."

"So you're always as rich as you need to be... Genius! What was the third wish?"

The man chuckled.

"That was the ostrich."

"Oh boy."

"See, I got cocky. I didn't think number three over too well."

"What was the wish?"

The man took a drag on his beer and cleared his throat.
"I wished for a tall chick with long legs who would agree with every word I said."