A hundred year-old man and his 98 year-old woman contact a lawyer to arrange a divorce...

...and lawyer asks them "how long have you been married?"

"80 years" the man replies.

"Why do you want a divorce after all this time?" the lawyer asks.

"We hate each other. I hate everything about her. I hate how she talks, how she walks, how she sleeps, how she chews her food, even how she breathes" the man replies. "And she's ugly."

The lawyer looks at the woman, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, " she says, "and I hate him too. I hate his hobbies, his attitudes, the way he treats people, his politics, I cannot stand to be in his presence for more than five minutes. The man is a pig. And he smells."

The lawyer asks "how long have you felt this way?"

"50 years" the mans replies.

"More like 60" says the woman.

"Well then tell me, " asks the lawyer, "why have you waited until now to get a divorce, if you've hated each other for so long."

"We were waiting for the children to die."

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