A French woman was challenged by an English friend to "go shoot a seagull." [mildly NSFW]

Just...just bear with me. It's a long long way to the punchline but just bear with me.

Anyways, she'd never actually seen a "seagull" before so she was really having trouble. In fact, because her English wasn't so great she barely knew what the term "seagull" meant, though she understood "go shoot" just fine. So she packed her guns and flew to America, where she figured she'd find a seagull one day or another.

Well, she spends a good few weeks in America getting settled, seeing the sights, things like that. One day she ends up on the beach, just because you know, people go to the beach. She spends a great day on the beach, swimming, tanning, playing some volleyball with strangers, etc. After the sun sets, she's packing up and having some trouble with her umbrella. A man walks up to her and likes what he sees, starts talking her up, helping her out.

The two really hit it off well, even with the language barrier, and it's clear there's some mutual chemistry going on. Finally, the man asks her: "So what brings you to the States?"

"Eet eez for 'unting seagulls," she replies in her thick French accent. "But I 'ave not found any."

"Well, bad luck with that!" says the man. "There were seagulls all over the beach earlier today but they're all gone now."

"Oh," murmurs the French woman, crestfallen. "Zat eez unfortunate. I can't belief I 'ad such an opportunity and meessed eet."

"Yeah well, easy come easy go, right?" the man laughs. The woman isn't familiar with this English turn of phrase but laughs with him anyways.

"Say uh," the man begins again, looking around furtively. "Sorry if this sounds forward but do you want to, maybe, go get some dinner or something?"

The woman gives him a coy grin. "I would love to," she says.

So the two go and have a great night out on the town. The man treats her to a surf and turf over wine, and later they hit the clubs and dance until past midnight. One thing sort of leads to another as they tend to do at clubs and it ends up back in the man's hotel room with the French woman and one of the man's friends, all drunk.

Sorry. This isn't part of the story; I'm just apologizing in advance.

Anyway, the three of them eschew the foreplay and start going at it. I'll spare the details here but it would've been clear to anyone watching that the French chick really knew what she was doing and knew how to work two guys. The first man doesn't last more than half an hour before he's out, but the man's friend keeps going on and on for hours. Finally, he can't hold it in anymore and just explodes everywhere, all over her face, her chest, and her legs.

"Wow," she purrs. "Do you see zat?"

"Oh yeah I do," the man's friend says with a grin. He leans back and admires his handiwork as the woman abruptly reaches into her bag, pulls a pistol, and shoots him twice in the chest and once in the head.

"Oh my god!" screams the other man. "What the fuck did you do that for!?"

The woman looks back at him in confusion. "I am 'unting seagulls, you know zees, oui?"

The man sputters in disbelief. "Wh-you can't possibly have thought that he was a seagull!"

"But eet eez as you said - 'e see cum, 'e seagull!"