A family of Tortoise go on a picnic

A family of tortoise (Momma Tortoise, Daddy Tortoise, Uncle Tortoise, and Baby Tortoise) decide to go on a picnic. They pack up their hamper and begin their journey to the park.

A week later, they get to the park and unwrap their hamper and realize they've forgotten the salad dressing. They plead with Uncle tortoise to go back for it.

"No way, it'll take me two weeks to get there and back! You'll start the food without me and it'll be gone when I'm back!" he says.

After assuring him they won't touch the food until he returns, he goes off on his way. 2 weeks later and the Tortoise family are getting hungry but there's no sign of Uncle Tortoise.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon, we promised we wouldn't start without him" says Momma Tortoise

Another week goes by and he's still not come back. By now the Tortoise family is starving.

"We're all hungry but we promised so we'll have to wait I'm afraid" says Momma Tortoise.

Another week goes by and still no sign of Uncle Tortoise.

"I can't take this anymore, we can't starve ourselves" says Daddy Tortoise grabbing the sandwiches and passing them around.

As he takes his first bite, Uncle Tortoise pops up from behind a bush and says "I knew you were going to start without me, I'm not going!"


I wish I knew where to give credit for this joke, I know that I read it in the comments of AskReddit long, long ago. I was just cleaning up my notes in my iPhone and found it copy and pasted there. I hope it made someone laugh!