A cheerio walks into his boss's office...

And he says to his boss, “Boss, I want to be more delicious than a plain old Cheerio.” The boss shuffles his papers around a bit, and replies. “Okay, I tell you what. If you go out and work for a year, I’ll upgrade you to a Honey Nut Cheerio.” The Cheerio thinks on it, and quickly agrees. He goes out, works as hard as he can for a year, and comes back to his boss very satisfied with his work. His boss happily upgrades him to a Honey Nut Cheerio, but upon tasting himself, the Cheerio thinks he still has a lot of room for improvement.

-

The Cheerio says “Boss, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, and not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I think I could still be tastier.” The boss smiles widely, and claps his hands together. “I like your attitude, young man. I tell you what, if you go out and work for two more years, I’ll upgrade you to an Apple Jack.” The Cheerio happily agrees, and speeds out of his boss’s office to get to work. He works hard for two more years, and makes the trip back into his boss’s office. Again, upon receiving the promotion, the Cheerio tastes himself and still thinks he can be better.

-

“Boss,” he says, “I really can’t thank you enough, but I still think I can taste better.” The boss furrows his brow and looks deep into the Cheerio’s eyes. “You’re a real go-getter, boy. If you go out and work for three years, I’ll upgrade you to a Captain Crunch Crunch Berry.” The Cheerio nods his head, and storms out to get back to work. He works hard, harder than he ever has, for those three years, and comes back to his boss for the promotion. He tastes himself again, and is still unimpressed.

-

“Before you say anything,” the Boss interjects, “I’ll assume you’re still not satisfied. I want to extend the opportunity to upgrade to a Lucky Charms Marshmallow, but only if you go out and work for four more years.” The Cheerio goes home, thinks about his boss’s proposal, and comes back the next day ready to accept. He goes and works diligently for four years, and when he comes back he can definitely taste the difference. The strolls into his boss’s office proudly and sits down. “Boss, I taste amazing. I mean seriously, I might be the tastiest cereal ever. Thank you.”

-

The boss laughs. “Not quite, son. If you want, you can go out to work for five years and become a Cinnamon Toast Crunch. But if you do, you’ll never be able to become a Reese’s Puff.” The Cheerio wracks his brain for a decision taking weeks to weigh the two options, and eventually concludes that no matter what he has to give up, he wants to become a Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He goes out and dedicates five years of his life to becoming a Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and when he comes back into his boss’s office, he is almost unbearably delicious.

-

“Boss, I’ve hit the pinnacle of tastiness. I doubt that in all my years of life, I’ve ever tasted anything so good, and doubt I’ll ever taste anything better.” The boss slowly shakes his head, smiling. “Listen. Only one cereal on Earth has done what I’m about to suggest, but I think you have the chops to make it a reality. If you go out and work for ten years, I can almost guarantee you to become a Honeycomb.” Picking his jaw up off the ground, the Cheerio happily and eagerly accepts. He goes out and works. For ten years, sleeping very little, eating even less, ignoring friends, family, and any other obligation, he does nothing but work for ten long years, and the Cheerio staggers back into his boss’s office successful. His boss upgrades him to a Honeycomb, and those ten years of hard labor instantly becomes more than worth it.

-

His boss is floored. “Son, I had my doubts about you, but now there’s nothing more I can give you. Well done.” The Cheerio, feeling like the tastiest thing in the universe, proudly leaves his boss’s office and goes into the open world. However, working for twenty-five years made the Cheerio incredibly thirsty, so he makes the trip to the most popular store in town, the milk store. The line stretches out of the door and around the corner, so the Cheerio decides to drink something else. He goes to the water store, and though the line is definitely shorter, there’s still a hundred people waiting in front of him. He figures he could probably go somewhere else before the line clears, so he decides to go to the punch store. One he arrives, he remembers that he hates punch, but he isn’t going to go anywhere else because there’s no punch line.