He casually slides up to a bar stool and begins to debate how to get a free drink. Looking around at the women occupying it, he decides he has a shot. Hours go by, being shot down by all he tried he returns to the bar.
Bartender walks over and asks him what he will have, to which he responds he can't afford any. Asking "Damn it man, I've never been to a bar I couldn't manage a free drink out of a women." Bartender begins to laugh and explains the bar is pretty much all married ladies and there blue collar plant working husbands.
Bartender:I tell you what buddy, if you can make our mascot that donkey over there laugh, I'll let you drink the entire night for free.
The man looks over when a moment of inspiration hits him, what's the worst that happens the donkey doesn't laugh? The man walks over and simply whispers in the donkey's ear. As the bartender watches in amazement the donkey rolls over seemingly "ahh eee ahh" ing to death.
The man walks back over and tells the bartender "I'll take a knobb creak and a budweiser. Keep em coming". The bartender being a man of his word pays his debt, and the gentleman drinks the night away on the house.
The following night the gentleman returns, and asks the bartender if the bet still stands.
Bartender: I'll make the bet with ya, but this time make him cry. I don't mean calling and acting an ass, I mean legitimately crying.
Gentleman: You've got yourself a bet.
The gentleman walks off towards the mascot, with more confidence then should be allowed for such a silly bet. He stands in front of the donkey, back to the bar, fumbling in his pockets seemingly. The bartender concerned he is digging for a weapon runs over to stop the man. By the time he arrives the donkey has laid himself down, tears welling from its eyes and looking as if he had lost the will to live.
Gentleman: I guess I won the bet again.
Bartender: so it seems you did.
Both walk back to the bar, the bartender more then confused how Dr. Doolittle here has managed these feats.
Bartender: I'm a man of my word, but I'm honestly not gonna pay up this time unless you answer a couple questions.
Gentleman: Sure, you've been more then a good sport.
Bartender: How in the fuck did you make that donkey laugh?
Gentleman: Well, it was easy. I walked up, took a quick study of the donkey, and whispered in his ear "Mines bigger".
The bartender now laughing himself, asks "Ok, well how in the hell did you make him cry?".
Gentleman: Now that was even easier. I showed it to him.
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