- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a hairdresser named Bruce, but then I had this sudden relapse of heterosexuality. - When we get back to my apartment, whatever you do, don't tease the pony. - You know, if my wife wasn't so hung up on this faithfulness thing, she'd probably say you were my cutest girlfriend yet. - I had to break up with my last girlfriend. She welded a coat- hanger to the metal plate in my head and was using it as antenna to read my thoughts. - No, really, I read Playboy for the articles. - My most painful memory? Hmmm... That would have to be when those three guys cornered me in the showers in prison. - I'm not free Sunday. I'm going to help OJ look for the real killer. - How about after dinner we take a romantic stroll by the oil refinery? The fumes will give you a really cool buzz. - Now I'm just speaking hypothetically here, but let's say you were at some guy's house, opened the refrigerator, and saw a human head. Would you call the cops? - I was thinking tonight we'd go to a French restaurant. Have you ever been to Jacques En Ze Box? - I always wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't get into med school, so now I just pursue gynecology as a hobby. I even have my own stirrups.
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