You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...


�Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
�Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
�You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
�You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the
nicest restaurants.
�You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
�You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
�You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is
quiet around here."
�You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care
Unit".
�You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be
pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
�You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no
idea how that got stuck in there".
�Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an
emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, and years)?"

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