You Might Be A Minnestan If.....

l. You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through l8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping the
food will swim by.


2. You are proud that your state makes the national news 96
nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot
in the nation.


3. You have ever refused to buy something because it's too
"spendy."


4. You think a basketall team consists of twelve white boys.


5. You're a card-carrying member of both the NRA and the ACLU.


6. Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through
February.


7. You instinctively walk like a penguin for three months out of
the year.


8. Someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there.


9. Your dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle
of his forehead.


l0. You have ever apologized to a telemarketer.


1l. You may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of
Lutefisk.


l2. You have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.


l3. You have either a pet or a child named "Kirby."


14. Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.


l5. You have ever had an entire telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number.


l6. You know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, and Shakopee.


l7. You grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.


l8. You think that ketchup is a little too spicy.


l9. Your daily meals are breakfast, dinner, and supper.


20. Every January, from age 2 to l3, you let your older siblings
talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post.


2l. You consider Lime Jell-O a highly versatile food: a
breakfast dish when it is filled with fruit, a salad when it has
shredded carrots and a dab of mayonnaise, and a dessert when
topped with Dreamwhip.


22. You never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you
missed some of the dialogue.


23. You always believed that vacation meant "going up north."


24. Your town has an annual festival honoring a fruit,
vegetable, or ethnic food.


25. The first time you saw "Grumpy Old Men," you thought it was
a=20 documentary.


26. You can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and
Lena" jokes.


27. Every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a
dancing bear, and sing, gently, "From the land of sky-blue
waters...Hamm's-the beer refreshing..."


28. Your dog dies, your spouse leaves you, you lose your job,
and your car breaks down, all on the same day, and your first
thought is,"It could be worse."