(x-post /r/meanjokes) So a man and woman are sitting next to each other at a bar...

The man and woman start talking and the man says "I'm very depressed, my wife just left me because I'm too kinky in bed."

The woman says, "well, funny that you should mention that, but I happen to be pretty kinky myself. I live just around the corner, would you like to go back to my place and have some kinky sex?"

The man says "Sure!"

So they go back to the woman's apartment and she tells him to sit back and make himself comfortable while she gets changed.

She goes and changes into some leather, bondage dominatrix gear and goes back into the living room to find the man leaving.
She says "where are you going, I thought we were about to have sex?"

He says "Oh I just fucked your dog and shat in your purse, I'm good."

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