Wolverine, Cyclops, and Magneto are captured by Mr. Sinister. As they regain consciousness they realize they are naked with their testicles in a vibranium clamp hanging from a vibranium chain that is slowly being lifted to the ceiling. As they realize they are about to be painfully suspended only by their testicles they had to come up with a plan.
Cyclops says "Wolverine, you can regenerate your balls, just cut them off and get us free."
Wolverine says "No way bub, I don't think my regeneration will work that way. Use your laser vision and blast the ceiling."
Cyclops says "Okay, we have to move fast." Cyclops blasts the ceiling and the debris lands on top of him killing him instantly. The other two chains ascend quicker and before they realize it, Magneto and Wolverine are painfully suspended by their testicles.
Wolverine accepts his fate and slices his balls off to release himself from the chain. Suddenly the floor opens into a spike pit and Wolverine is impaled on some spikes.
Screaming in agony, Magneto pleads with Mr. Sinister for mercy. Magneto screams "We fought together against Xavior! I am your friend! Please...release me!"
Mr. Sinister then flips a lever and Magneto falls to his death.
The moral of the story: Whenever life has you by the balls, your friends will always let you down. Especially Chad, fuck that guy.
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