Word Play

The guy who has his hand up asking

Lots of questions knows

His friends think he’s a guy who is

A very big askhole


The judge gave his decision

And said, “Have no remorse”

“You guys are not a couple now”

“I give you your dude-vorce”


You’re starting on a road trip and

Hand to your friend a Pepsi

But discover he’s asleep that guy

Has gotten car-colepsy


What happens when that friend of yours

Spouts out a long narration?

And doesn’t take input, of course

That is a nonversation

Don't look at me like I'm not here

Your narcissistic curse

Puts you alone all day in your

Own special youniverse


If you should choose to go alone

To movies fascinating

The word that people give to that

Is simple - masterdating


If you’re waiting for a message from

Someone and have temptation

To check it every minute you’ve

Contracted textpectation


A buddy speaks of sex a lot

With great enthusiasm

But it gets old - he talks too much

Another big borgasm


You’re at a seafood restaurant

And ordering some shellfish

Your date is on her phone and acting

Very, very cellfish


You grab a book to learn about

A subject rather frightening

But didn’t learn a thing because

The writing was unlightening


You walk the hall to get a pen

But suffer from amnesia

Why did you leave your office then?

A sign of destinesia