Wifespeak

Wifespeak/Translation


You want: You want


We need: I want


It's your decision: The correct decision should be obvious by now


Do what you want: You'll pay for this later


We need to talk: I need to complain


Sure...go ahead: I don't want you to.


I'm not upset: Of course I'm upset, you moron.


You're so manly: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.


You're certainly attentive tonight: Is sex all you ever think about?


I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting!: I'm on my period.


Be romantic, turn out the lights.: I have flabby thighs.


This kitchen is so inconvenient: I want a new house.


I want new curtains: and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper....


I need wedding shoes: the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white


Hang the picture there: No, I mean hang it there!


I heard a noise: I noticed you were almost asleep.


Do you love me?: I'm going to ask for something expensive.


How much do you love me?: I did something today you're really not going to like.


I'll be ready in a minute: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.


Is my butt fat?: Tell me I'm beautiful.


You have to learn to communicate: Just agree with me.


Are you listening to me!?: [Too late, your dead.]


Yes: No


No: No


Maybe: No


I'm sorry: You'll be sorry.


Do you like this recipe?: It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.


Was that the baby?: Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.


I'm not yelling!: Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.


All we're going to buy is a soap dish: It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at few new pocketbooks, and, oh my god,there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?


In answer to the question "What's wrong?"


The same old thing.: Nothing.


Nothing.: Everything.


Everything: My PMS is acting up.


Nothing, really.: It's just that you're such an asshole..


I don't want to talk about it.: Go away, I'm still building up steam.