When you go to the bar, always have a DD.

Johnson, a newbie cop, gets put on the graveyard shift.


He takes his break and pulls into a gas station, goes in, gets a coffee and donut, and sits down in his cruiser.


As he is stuffing his face, he glances at the time.

It's 2:00 am.


The bar across the street is letting out, and he watches the patrons pile out into the parking lot.


"This should be an easy bust!" he thinks to himself, and continues eyeballing the crowd as they make their way to their vehicles.



One guy stands out in particular. The classic drunk guy... Stumbling and swaying through the crowd... Scream-talking at friends and being overly animated with his arms as he tries once more to convince some random girl to go home.


The crowd thins and cars begin to fill with people and drive off.


But Johnson has his sights on good ole Drunky McGee.


The bar fly McGee was hitting on, is having none of it, so they part ways, and Drunky stumbles his way to his car.


McGee makes to his car... It's locked.


The girl that got away drives off with friends, and other cars continue to exit the lot as well.


McGee fishes his keys out of his pocket and attempts to unlock the door... "fuck!" he drops the keys.


As he bends over to pick them up, he bangs his head on the door. "shit!"


Johnson giggles at the sight and starts his cruiser.


Drunky fumbles with the keys and this impossible lock again.


More cars drive off.


FINALLY... The door is open and he pours himself into the drivers seat and starts the car.


He turns on the headlights... Nope that's the windshield wipers.



He turns on the head lights and begins to pull out.



HOOOOOONK!


He slams the brakes, just barely missing another car in the lot, making it's way to the road.



Johnson shakes his head and puts the car into drive.



Drunky begins his trek out of the parking lot once more, takes the turn too sharp and bounces down the curb.



Johnson lights him up and pulls him over.



He asks the man to step out of the car for a field sobriety test.



As he gets out, the last few remaining cars leave the bar, waving at McGee... He waves back drunkenly leaning on the cop's car.



As he looks back to the officer, he has a big smile on his face and begins to chuckle. He stands up straight and looks Johnson in the eyes.



"What's so funny?" asks Johnson.



McGee replies "I'm the DD!"



Johnson looks at him and then into the car and back at him. "Sure you are... Who are you designated driver for?"



McGee laughs even harder... "I couldn't drive everyone home, so I was the designated decoy!"