What Advertisements Really Mean


NEW - Different color from previous design.


ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.


EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.


UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.


FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.


ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.


IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.


FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.


HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.


FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.


REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.


DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.


YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.


BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.


MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.


MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.


SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.


LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig
stomach lining.


HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.


NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.


FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.

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