Two hikers are wandering in the Alps...

...and they have got lost so they have been wandering for hours without knowing which direction they go. The real problem is that they don't have any food anymore and they are starving. They are convinced that they are going to die if they won't find some sort of hut or a house in the mountains. After another hour of straying they finally see a house at the horizon.

When they finally arrive at the little alp they knock on the door and an ugly, old, fat woman opens the door. One of the guys tells her the predicament they are in and asks whether she has some food left for them, to which she responds: "Well I have plenty of food here, but I won't give that out for free, I expect a certain reward in exchange for the food and I haven't had sex in years." The wanderer tells her that he'll consult with his friend about the matter.

So he goes to his buddy and tells him about her wanting sex in exchange for food. His buddy says that he has to think about it but that he's probably not capable of going through with it. The other one says: "Well, I know it's disgusting, but otherwise we'll starve to death so I'm gonna do it!"

So he goes back to the house and tells the old woman that it's on. They proceed to go upstairs to her bedroom and she takes off her clothes. The wanderer sees the naked misery sprawling on the bed and wonders how he's gonna get out of that situation when he sees a corn cob to his left. So he takes the corn cob, switches off the lights and gives it to her really good with the corn cob, which he throws out of the window afterwards. The old lady is satisfied and feeds the wanderer lots of food downstairs.

The wanderer then leaves the house to talk to his friend and says: "Well, it's been disgusting but at least I am not starving anymore, now it's your turn!" to which his friend responds: "I'm fine, I have just found a tasty corn cob with lots of butter on it!"

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