Turtle Picnic

Three turtles named Tom, Dick, and Harry are roommates. One day they decide to go for a picnic on Picnic Hill. So they pack up a picnic basket and set off. It takes them ten days to get there.

As they're setting up the picnic, Tom pulls out a few bottles of beer and asks Dick "did you pack the bottle opener?"

"No," says Dick "I thought you packed it."

"Damn," says Tom. "Somebody needs to go get the bottle opener. Harry, go back to the house and get it."

"NO WAY," says Harry. "As soon as I leave, you guys are gonna eat all the sandwiches. I'm not going."

"Come on," says Tom, "We promise not to touch any of the picnic food until you get back. Right Dick?"

Dick promises too, so Harry sets off down the road.

Ten days go by.

"Man," says Tom, "I'm hungry. Let's eat a sandwich."

"No way" says Dick. "We promised not to touch them, and he'll be back soon. Just wait."

Ten more days go by. Harry still hasn't returned.

"I'm SOOO hungry," says Tom. "Let's eat already."
"Not happening," says Dick. "We promised."

Ten more days go by. It's been thirty days and Harry is nowhere to be seen.

"I'm STARVING," says Tom. "Let's just open up ONE sandwich and split it, and then we'll save the rest for when Harry gets back."
"Well, okay," says Dick. "But just one sandwich, and we're not touching anything else." So they unwrap one sandwich and split it in half, and each turtle takes a bite.

Just then Harry pops his head up from behind a rock five feet away. "MAN, I FUCKING KNEW IT!" he screams. "I'M NOT GOING!"