A priest, a rabbi, and a potato farmer walk into a bar. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks them all in the face because he already knows this joke won't be funny enough.
A reporter once asked Chuck Norris why he decided to shave his beard. He responded, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." He then chuckled, realizing he was going to kill the reporter anyway.
Chuck Norris once went on a vacation to the UK. Feeling thirsty, he went into an English bar and ordered and drank 234 pints of unfiltered whiskey. When asked to pay his tab, Chuck responded with a massive belch that lasted for 8 hours and 41 minutes. A nearby sound studio managed to record the amazing sound, and today we know this as the Beatles' White Album.
Chuck Norris actually died 53 years ago. Death hasn't gathered the courage or manpower to tell him yet.
Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider. Chuck Norris was bitten by a radioactive god.
There is no theory of evolution, just a long list of species Chuck Norris allowed to live.
Conan O'Brien once installed a lever on his desk that, when pulled, played a clip of Chuck Norris in *Walker: Texas Ranger*. In response, Chuck installed a lever in his office that, when pulled, played a clip of Norris banging O'Brien's wife.
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