In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how???....) On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (but, it's just a suggestion). On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down. (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.(...and you thought????...) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.(as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Nobby's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (talk about a news flash!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet,eat nuts. (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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