Topical Jokes for 5/24

The Rock set a Guinness World Record by taking 105 selfies in under 3 minutes. That’s right, The Rock is in the Guinness Book of World Records for something that could have been accomplished by an actual rock.

…The Rock’s selfie feat will be immortalized in the record book between the world’s tiniest piece of paper, and the world’s softest breeze.

Playboy has introduced a new app, that lets you view their content, without any nudity. Having the nudity-free app on your phone is the perfect way to tell people, “I am a closeted gay man.”

Here in California, an 11-year-old has graduated college with three degrees. The 11-year-old had planned to graduate with FOUR degrees, but he was too busy gettin’ laid.

A new report shows that the demand for college graduates is on the rise. The data bucks previous trends of employers seeking out people who quit school in the fifth grade.

President Obama has stated in a magazine that his first job was scooping ice cream at Baskin Robbins. And it’s also his next job.

The website Adult FriendFinder has been hacked, exposing the sexual preferences and fetishes of millions of users. The overwhelming sexual preference selected was “Whatever with Whoever.”

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