Tips About Doctors

- Hospital diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

- Never look happy in front of your doctor, he will know you
have done something wrong.

- Never go to a doctor if his house plants have died.

- Many people suffer poor health, not because of what they eat
but from what is eating them.

- An apple a day will keep the doctor away; an onion a day will
keep everyone away.

- Happiness is when your doctor tells you to gain 10 pounds.

- Why do nurses wake me up to give me a sleeping pill?

- If you think time heals everything, try sitting it out in a
doctor's office.

- My doctor answers all the questions, but my wife questions
all the answers.

- Eat, exercise, die anyway!

- The secret of good health is to start doing what you should
have been doing 30 years ago.

- Women don't live longer, it's just men that die sooner.

- Cancer cures smoking.

- If men are God's gift to women, then God must really love gag

- When the doctor gives you one of those skimpy gowns, you know
that the end is in sight.

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