- Hospital diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
- Never look happy in front of your doctor, he will know you
have done something wrong.
- Never go to a doctor if his house plants have died.
- Many people suffer poor health, not because of what they eat
but from what is eating them.
- An apple a day will keep the doctor away; an onion a day will
keep everyone away.
- Happiness is when your doctor tells you to gain 10 pounds.
- Why do nurses wake me up to give me a sleeping pill?
- If you think time heals everything, try sitting it out in a
- My doctor answers all the questions, but my wife questions
all the answers.
- Eat, exercise, die anyway!
- The secret of good health is to start doing what you should
have been doing 30 years ago.
- Women don't live longer, it's just men that die sooner.
- Cancer cures smoking.
- If men are God's gift to women, then God must really love gag
- When the doctor gives you one of those skimpy gowns, you know
that the end is in sight.
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