Three scientists were interested in studying the stomach capacity of pigs. So they got a pig and fed it a lot of food. The only problem was, the pig would just start crapping after a while and they could never get an accurate measurement of how much food its stomach would hold. So one of the scientists got the brilliant idea to stick a cork in the pig's butthole to stop it from crapping. The pig ate. And it ate. And it ate. Once it was absolutely full, it stopped eating, the scientists wrote down how much food they fed it and the study was over.
Now came the trouble of taking the cork out. For obvious reasons, the scientists didn't want to risk doing this personally, so they decided they would send in a trained monkey to do it. They set up the monkey and stood back. 1 scientist stood 50 yards away, 1 scientist stood 100 yards away, and 1 scientist stood 150 yards away. Then the monkey pulled the cork.
Well, there was a huge spray of crap. The scientist at 150 yards got crap all over his shoes. He was furious and he walked up to the scientist at 100 yards, who had crap all over his shoes and pants. The two furious scientists walked up to the third scientist at 50 yards and they saw him completely covered, head to toe, in crap. But he was laughing his freaking butt off and smiling.
"Why are you so happy?" They asked him.
"I saw the monkey try to put the cork back in!"
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