Saint Peter explains to them that unfortunately Heaven is rather overcrowded at the moment, so they're only letting in people with the most horrific deaths. One by one he asks them each how they perished.
The first man: I live on the 6th floor of an apartment building in Manhattan, and for some months now I've been suspecting that my wife has been cheating on me. I came home from work early today and find her in bed, fully naked and somewhat sweaty. She insists she was just tired and hot, but I know the truth so I search the apartment. I search and search, and I just can't find the guy who's been plowing her. I give up and go out on my balcony for some air and to clear my head, and there the son of a bitch is, hanging from the bottom railing! I was so angry I just started punching and kicking him, but he had some death grip or something; he just wouldn't let go. I take off my shoe and I start beating his hands with it, and he eventually drops. In my rage at my wife and at the horrible mess that is my life, I grabbed my refrigerator and hurled it over the balcony as well. I then had a heart attack and died from the over exertion.
Saint Peter nods that this is indeed a horrible death, so the man is allowed to enter Heaven.
The second man: I live on the 7th floor of an apartment building in Manhattan, and I was out on my balcony for some air and enjoying the view as I always do after work, but when I leaned against my railing it came loose and I fell. I was able to grab on to the bottom railing of the balcony below mine, where I clung for dear life praying someone would come rescue me. Eventually someone came, but to my dismay he started punching and kicking me. I held on for as long as I could, but when he took off his shoe and started hitting my fingers I eventually fell. Somehow I managed to land in some bushes and I was just stunned. I started to get up but then a refrigerator fell on me and squashed me.
Saint Peter again agrees that this is horrible, so the man is allowed entry.
The third man: Okay so picture this right? I'm naked in a refrigerator...
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