Three men go to heaven and St. Peter receives them

St. Peter doesn't know why they're there, they weren't supposed to die today, so 1 by 1, he takes them into his office and hears their story

Man 1 suspected his wife was cheating on him so one day he comes back from work early, only to find his wife laying on the bed, sweaty and heavy-breathing, naked, and so he says

"Wheres is that son of a bitch?! where is he?!"

"Who?" the wife says

The husband starts looking around his apartment for the man, and finds a guy hiding on the window, so he goes to grab a baseball bat, signed by Bryce Harper, and starts trying to hit the man on the window, while evading the hits from the husband, the man fell off the window, of course, the husband begins to celebrate, until he realizes he fell on a truck full of pillows!

"So, St. Peter, since I couldn't let him get away with it, I fucken threw mi fridge at him! but in the process, my coat got stuck and I fell too, so here I am, but at least I got that son of a bitch!"

St. Peter sighs and says "Sorry to tell you, off to hell you go, you killed two people, three if you count yourself"

Man 2 is a really good christian, honest, has 3 kids and works cleaning windows, he was going with his day as usual until he fell off the building while cleaning, luckily, he was able to hold on a ledge 2 floors below, just out a window

"St. Peter, I believe the man in there thought I was a thief! cause when he saw me he grabbed a baseball bat, signed by Bryce Harper, which I thought was funny, and he tried to hit me!"

"Oh god I can see where this is going" St. Peter thinks holding in laughter

"Now, I've never been very agile myself, so while dodging, I fell! while I was falling I muttered a quick prayer and to my surprise, I was spared! I had fallen on a truck with pillows! my happiness was such that I forgave my agressor, until I looked up and saw him and a fridge coming down on me, and here I am"

"Well, sir, you've been a good man, what happened was an accident but we can't do anything, but heaven is open for you" says St. Peter

Man 3 comes in, rather startled

"Well what did you do? how'd you manage to die?" asks St. Peter to the man

"I don't know! all I know is I was balls deep into this chick, we heard her husband come home early so I had to hide in a fucken fridge!"

EDIT: paragraphs