Unfortunately for them, they're quickly taken prisoner by the native cannibal tribe. The cannibal chief comes to the tree where they're tied up and says, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, we're cannibals, and we're going to kill each of you, eat the meat and use the skin to make a canoe. The good news is, we believe in honor, so you can choose the way you will die."
The first captive doesn't want to feel anything, so he says, "I'd like to be smothered in my sleep." So that night the cannibals smother him, skin him, and eat him.
The second captive wants his death to be peaceful, so he says, "I'd like to be drowned, please." So the cannibals drown him, skin him, and eat him, just like the first.
The third captive, on the other hand, tells the chief, "I want to be stabbed repeatedly with forks!" The chief is a little weirded out, but the cannibals get their pitchforks, stab him to death, skin him, and eat him like the first two.
As the third captive's spirit rises to heaven, he sees the other two standing on a pearly cloud, looking on in surprise. "Jim, why'd you choose such a painful death? Why not smothering or drowning, like us??" they inquire. Jim spits an evanescent loogie and replies, "Well I was gonna die anyway, so I figured I might as well screw up their canoe before I went!"
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