Bruce was meant to meet his friend in a bar at midday.
12:30pm, 1pm, then 1:30pm rolls around. Just as Bruce was about to give up, his friend finally strolls in with dishevelled hair and a smug grin, "Sorry I'm late mate, you won't believe what happened to me just then..."
"What?"
"Well, I was walking here alongside the train tracks when I spot this lovely lady lying down with her skirt hitched up....we ended up making love missionary position, doggy style, pile driver...you name it. We did it. It was too good an opportunity to miss and the most amazing sex of my life."
"Did she give you a head job?"
"Nah, couldn't find the head."
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