This is a long one. What have I done....

So this nun goes into a bar and there are a bunch of squids and piranhas squabbling over their most recent MMA (mixed martial arts) tournament at the Alpha Squid's house the previous weekend. The piranhas were all like "hey it's not a fair tournament! The cephalopods always got the advantage! We got good teeth but you can squirt ink and kick us with ya tentacles and stuff!"

And the squids are like "no, no, no, it's totally fair. Piranhas got more agility and their teeth are just plain deadly, man". The squids are real defensive of their MMA tourney.

And this nun (who walked into the bar before, remember-bet you didn't remember) speaks up and is like "hey, why all the fighting? Why do you need an MMA tournament in the first place?"

But then the nun's robe and veil suddenly start talking out of nowhere. Nun's Habits have been known to come alive before, but are usually held back from doing this by a restrictive Papal proclamation put forth by Pope Francis last November-the Holy Habit Constrainment Order, PO #7462.5.


But this nun's robes come alive and stuff and they start taking to these squids and piranhas.

And suddenly things are starting to make sense and the nun's Habit is laying down some awesome new ground rules for the squids' and piranhas' mutual MMA tournaments. Things are looking good.

But then the robes and veil combo, amidst the nun standing around looking bored while her clothes did all the talking, made a suggestion to split up some of the allowed MMA moves per species. It said "you know what, why don't we limit hand moves like punching and grabbing to the squids, and we'll let the piranhas take all the footwork and agility stuff, like kicks."

A deathly silence suddenly fell over the room. The Habit said "what? Did I say something wrong?" The worried look on its face was reflected by glares from the squids and piranhas alike.

The Alpha Squid stood up on his two strongest legs and walked to the door of the bar. The other squids followed him to the door. The piranhas turned their faces away in fear. At this point the Habit is so confused as to what it said to offend these squids, just being a gentle robe and headpiece and all.

But just as the squids got to the exit, they all turned around, and threw their sunglasses on Squirtle Squad style. The Alpha Squid said, calmly but firmly:



"Silly Habit, kicks are for squids."

And they all left the bar and never came back.