This is a long one, brace yourselves...

A wealthy farmer on his death bed tells his three sons that he loves them all equally so he couldn't find a fair way to split his wealth among them.

As his final wish, he asks them to seek an old friend of his, who is now a judge in the big city.

"He is a fair man. Ask him to help you sort this out" says the farmer, just before passing away.

Next week, three brothers get on their way down to the big city. As they climb down the mountain, a shepherd interrupts their journey:

"Good day folks. I seem to have lost a calf from my herd. Have you seen it, by chance?"

The eldest son asks: "Was its left eye blind?"

"Yes!", the shepherd beams.

The middle brother asks, "Was its right leg hurt?"

"Yes, it was!", says the shepherd, eagerly waiting for them to point the way.

The youngest brother raises his arm: "Was it this high?"

"That's the one!" says the shepherd.

"We haven't seen your calf" says the eldest brother.

Infuriated, the shepherd accuses them of stealing his calf.

"Well", says the youngest brother, "Why don't you come along with us? We just happen to be on our ways to see a judge. He could help us resolve this" The shepherd agrees and tags long with them.

The judge welcomes them all in his home and says he's sorry about his old friend's death.

Before they can talk about their father's final request, the shepherd insists that they tell him where his calf his and quickly tells the judge what happened. The judge asks the brothers how they know what they know.

The eldest son says, "Too easy, sir. I saw bushes on either sides of the road. Only the ones on the right side were eaten."

The middle brother chimes in, "And I've noticed the tracks on the ground. One in every four was different than the others."

The youngest brother says, "I saw dungs on our way here. Based on the color and the frequency, I surmised its age and size, by and large."

The shepherd listens to them in awe and quickly leaves the judge's home after apologizing to them several times.

The judge, also impressed, hesitates about meddling with the affairs of such brilliant young men. Do they even need his help?

He decides that he should know them better. So he asks them to stay for dinner. Wayworn brothers gratefully accept.

During the dinner, the judge excuses himself from the table and leaves the room. He begins to eavsdrop to their conversations outside the door.

"This lamb is delicious", says the eldest brother. "Too bad it was nursed by a dog." Others nod in agreement.

"The wine tastes alright" says the middle brother. "Too bad it's coming from a graveyard." Others nod in agreement.

"The judge seems like a nice guy" says the youngest brother. "Too bad he is such a fag" Again, others nod in agreement.

The judge can't believe what he just heard. He immediately calls the butcher's and asks about the lamb. The butcher confirms that the lamb was nursed by a dog after its mother died.

In utter disbelief, he calls the wine shop this time. The wine seller almost ashamedly admits that there are several graves where his supplier grows the grapes.

The judge, a happily married man with two kids, takes a deep long breath and calls his mother this time. "Mom, do you remember... anything unusual, you know, about my early years?"

The old woman, with a trembling voice, begins to tell how he was kidnapped and raped when he was just 5.

The judge hangs up the phone and enters back in the room. He tells them what happened and demands to know how the hell they knew all that.

"How else?", says the eldest brother, "Lambs don't usually have so much fat on their legs. It was obviously nursed by a different species."

"How else", says the younger brother. "The wine tastes strong and almost rusty. You can't find any other place around here with such soil", he explains.

"How else", says the youngest brother. "You have a fucking poster of Justin Bieber on the wall!"