Things you wouldn't hear a southerner say


We don't keep firearms in this house.


Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?


You can't feed that to the dog.


I thought Graceland was tacky.


No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.


Wrasslin's fake.


Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?


We're vegetarians.


Do you think my hair is too big?


I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.


Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?


Who's Richard Petty?


Give me the small bag of pork rinds.


Deer heads detract from the decor.


Spitting is such a nasty habit.


Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.


The tires on that truck are too big.


I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.


I've got it all on a floppy disk.


Unsweetened tea tastes better.


Would you like your fish poached or broiled?


My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.


I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.


Trim the fat off that steak.


I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.


Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.


Checkmate.


She's too old to be wearing that bikini.


Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?


Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.


I don't have a favorite college team.


I believe you cooked those green beans too long.


Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.


Elvis who?


Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.


"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex".


Duct tape won't fix that.


Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.


Come to think of it I'll have a Heineken.

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.