The husband is sitting at home, watching tv. The wife comes in the door from her doctor's appointment. Husband looks up and asks, "How did the doc go?"
She says "It went foin, but ah got embarrassed before it ended."
He says, " Whatcha get embarrassed fer?"
She says "Well, he came in and took me blood pressure and ev'rything, and then finally he asked me for a specimen. For the life of me, i couldn't think what a specimen was. Do you know what a specimen is?"
"No, i don't rightfully do. Why don't you ask Ann Margaret next door?"
She says "You know me and Ann have been feudin' fer the last tharty years!"
He says, "Just sook up yer pride and goh."
20 minutes later she comes back. She has a fat lip, a bloody nose, and a strap of her dress is torn. She walks in the door, and her husband immediately stands up and says "Oh my fookin gahd, what hahppened to ya?"
She says, "Ah did loik ya said, ah went over to Ahn's hoose, and ah nooked on her door. She ahnswered it, and kinda rolled her ois, the snooty betch. She was civil enough, she invoited me in and we sat doon to a cuppa. Foinally i asked her what a specimen was, and she told me i had ta piss in a cup."
"Well, then i told her ta shit in a hat, amd that's when the fight started!"
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