There was a carpenter that was quite a ladies' man, who accidentally ruined one of his eyes in an accident one day

So he made himself a wooden eye, but unfortunately his good looks were spoiled because he couldn't get it to fully resemble his remaining eye, and his days of womanizing were done. The fact that women were repulsed by his eye made him grow to have trouble even talking to women, which only compounded his problems, making his love life hit quite a slump. When he finally mustered the courage to attend a county ball, nobody would so much as dance with him. But then off to the side he saw a woman with a harelip, and he figured he might as well give her a shot. When he asked her to dance, she excitedly replied, "would I, would I!" "Well screw you harelip," he replied!

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