Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain...

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around
him, he taught them, saying:


Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek, blessed are they that mourn, blessed are the
merciful, blessed are they that thirst for justice, blessed are you when
persecuted, blessed are you when you suffer. Be glad and rejoice, for your
reward is great in heaven.


Then Simon Peter said, "Are we supposed to know this?" And Andrew said,
"Do we have to write this down?" And Philip said, "I don't have any
paper." And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to turn this in?" And James
said, "Will we have a test on this?" And John said, "The other disciples
didn't have to learn this." And Matthew said, "May I go to the bathroom?"
And Judas said, "What does this have to do with real life?"


Then one of the Pharisees, who was present, asked to see Jesus' lesson
plan and inquired of Jesus, "Where is your anticipatory set and your
objectives in the cognitive domain?"


And Jesus wept.