The World's Greatest Piano Player.

A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. "Mr. Owner I am the greatest piano player in the world and you should give me a job." The Owner says "Well we need a pianist, tell you what play me a song and I'll see if you're any good." So the piano player starts to play the most fantastic song in the world. The owner is tapping his toes he really loves it. When the piano player finishes the owner says "that was amazing what do you call that?" The piano player replies "that one is called I fucked your mother in her dirty snatch."

"Holy shit that's the worst song title I've ever heard get the fuck outta my bar." The piano player back pedals and says "hold on let me show you another one." and with the flick of the wrist the piano player plays a song so moving and emotional the owner of the bar begins to weep tears of joy. After a minute he collects himself and asks the piano player, "What was the name of that beautiful song?" The piano player responds, "Bloody tampon toothbrush." "JESUS CRIST" says the owner. After a minute he says, "All right you can play just don't tell anyone what you're songs are called ok?"

So the piano player comes in for the dinner rush and plays the most amazing music anyone has ever heard. People are pressed against the door trying to hear, every table is sold out. The patrons are so impressed they're tipping the piano player buying him all kinds of drinks and after about two hours he's pretty well sauced.

He takes a short brake to go to the bathroom and have a quick piss. On the way back a helpful customer notices he forgot to put his penis back in his pants. So he says to the piano player "excuse me do you know your dick is flopping out?"

"Know it? I fucking wrote it!"

*Written from memory, originally heard this from [Robin Williams and Drew Carry on "The Aristocrats"](http://youtu.be/_QMg-BT7VYA) Sorry it's not original, but I figured we could use a smile.Nanoo, Nanoo.