THE TWELVE KEYS OF WEBaholics

F1: ...admit that we have no life.


F2: ...believe that a Power greater than ourselves can either restore us to
sanity or provide us with unlimited, no-cost Internet dial-up.


F3: ...made a decision to turn our lives over to that Great Webmaster In The
Sky ("GWITS").


F4: ...performed a searching moral inventory with the Web search engine of our
choice.


F5: ...admitted to GWITS, ourselves and another human being (even if
only by email) the exact nature of our obsession.


F6: ...were entirely ready to have GWITS remove our shortcomings and remedy
our lack of knowledge about the latest IRC chat technology.


F7: ...humbly asked GWITS to allow us to FTP the file updates.


F8: Made a list of all persons we had neglected, and posted it on our personal
home page.


F9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would cut into our scheduled netsurf time.


F10: ...continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, blamed
it on our outdated software.


F11: ...sought through prayer and meditation to improve our contact with
GWITS, by utilizing higher modem speeds and improved bandwidth.


F12: ...had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Keys, tried to carry
the message to other WEBholics, and ended up making complete pests out of
ourselves.