9. Can only be used to buy bad disco CDs and his & her matching track suits.
8. Radical economic change dramatically affecting all of Europe actually noticed by the American press, despite it lacking the suffix "-gate."
7. When you tilt the 20E bill, Hitler winks.
6. Greek sandwich company sues over the more than coincidental naming of the new currency.
5. Proclaimed by Bill Gates as "much softer than the dollar for ass-wiping."
4. Pressure from Germany and France results in pictures of David Hasselhoff on the 50E bill and Jerry Lewis on the 100E.
3. Using pay toilets now referred to as "Euro-Peein'."
2. The Swiss refuse to be swayed, choosing to remain on the gold tooth standard.
1. A different Spice Girl in each corner!
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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