16> The pants you just wet are not your own.15> Her lips may be saying, "Baaaaa," but her eyes are screaming, "YES!"14> "I love the TopFive Lissst. NO, NO, I LOVE THE TOPFIVE LIST! I DO, I REALLLY REAALLLY DO."13> Well, five boilermakers ago you would have qualified as an English soccer fan.12> You just woke up next to a teddy bear you don't recognize, with its paws in an inappropriate location.11> You wake up and realize you slept with a dog. A REAL dog.10> The ATF suggests that you take up smoking instead.9> You have vomit on your jacket. It's not yours, but there it is, nevertheless.8> Your bed spins at 33 rpm.7> Your liver is trying to dial 9-1-1.6> You wake up naked in a strange car, clutching a keg tap and sporting fresh ink on your nether regions. Not that I'd know.5> John Kerry's starting to sound like he's taking a position on something.4> In a sudden moment of clarity, Bush's foreign policy strikes you as shrewd and effective.3> You see pink elephants... and get them to give you a ride home.2> You squish when you blink.1> You are seriously considering voting for Ralph Nader. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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