16> Twenty percent more duct tape than Mir.15> It's highly unlikely NASA would name its orbital lander the "USS PACKERS! Wooo! Go Packers!"14> You currently owe Duracell $138,845,000.13> Two words: cheese tailfins.12> Take-off requires beans, a butane lighter and a well-timed finger pull.11> Thrusters can be set to high, medium, low and simmer.10> Doilies on the control board? Potpourri in the cargo bay? MOM!!!9> The on-board meal: a lovingly packed PB&J cut in the shape of a rocket, a Juicy Juice box and a Twinkie that your jerk older brother smashed flat.8> "Rocket sound" comes from playing cards stuck in the O-rings.7> The chief engineer was forced to remove the nose cone of the lunar landing module to grill burgers for dinner.6> Centrifugal force is measured in "Kenny Gs."5> It just plain tastes better than those store-bought spaceships.4> The only 'tang on board is the pilot's mistress.3> The "heat shield"? A dozen oven mitts glued to a trash-can lid.2> The top-secret mission? Launch a spy satellite over Jessica Simpson's shower.1> Transmission from Apollo 13: "Houston, we have a problem."Transmission from your ship: "Honey, I have a wedgie." [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.