15> "Boy, this sure gives new meanings to the phrase 'game of inches,' doesn't it?"
14> "Now *that's* what I call a naked bootleg!"
13> "After further review of the play... I have decided... that I need to further review the play. This time in super slow-motion."
12> "Your bikini wax is a little 'off sides,' dear."
11> "The coach has thrown the 'challenge' flag. Evidently, he doesn't think those things are real."
10> "The ref has called for a measurement... AGAIN."
9> "And at halftime, some lucky fan will get the chance to take a few snaps from center."
8> "Illegal contact, 15-yard penalty -- but MAN, was that hot!"
7> "Our sideline reporter tells us it's only a sprained nipple and they're going to put some ice on it. Let's see if our cameraman can get us a close-up."
6> "Please dump the Gatorade... Please dump the Gatorade... Please dump the Gatorade...."
5> "Peanuts! Ice cold beer! Kleenex and WetNaps!"
4> "Win one for the stripper!"
3> "Hey! Where the hell was she hiding that Sharpie?!?"
2> "The prick is up... and it's wood!!"
1> "The girls have been wide open all day, but nobody seems capable of penetrating the red zone."
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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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