The Top 15 Signs Your Team Is Sponsored by a Brothel (Part II)

15> The term "tailgate party" seems to have taken on an entirely different meaning.


14> Your new uniforms: fishnet jerseys with red velvet pants.


13> The halftime show is a live version of the Kama Sutra.


12> That rainbow-wigged freak in the stands wears a shirt saying: "Johns 69:$80."


11> You're still in the locker room when your manager yells for you to "get a piece of it."


10> For $100, your goalie will let anyone score.


9> Patrick Ewing came out of retirement and is playing for league minimum.


8> You're dead last in the division, but your "Madame Rosie's Got Game" T-shirts are selling on eBay for $2,000.


7> Concession stand burgers come with a side order of French ticklers.


6> Your team is the Washington Foreskins.


5> You now take it as a compliment when the opposing team calls you a bunch of pussies.


4> At the team tryouts, they ask you to "Bend It Like Beckham" -- and you're a basketball player.


3> You still suck, but now it costs the opposing team an extra $20.


2> "Yo! Condom man!"


1> "Oh, baby! Don't stop!! Oh, yes! Yes! GOOOOOAAAALLL!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLL!!!"


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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]