The Top 15 Signs Someone You Know Is on Steroids Pt 2

15> The gardener finish mowing the lawn in under five minutes.
The Texas Stadium lawn.


14> The mail carrier runs house to house, spiking TV Guides and
yelling, "In your FACE, Dallas!"


13> Arrives at your wedding in a sleeveless tuxedo.


12> Your morning newspaper rockets through the picture window,
blasts out the sliding doors and does a perfect swan dive into the
neighbors' stagnant kiddie pool.


11> Last year: Dade County macrame champion.
    This year: all-time MLB RBI champion.


10> Asking your wife, "What's for dinner?" now earns you a snort
and repetitive pawing at the dirt.


 9> When raising the host, Father O'Malley now strikes
a body-builder pose.


 8> Johnny's mom gives all eight kids on the soccer
team a ride to practice -- piggyback.


 7> Grandma's latest hobby: crocheting trawling nets
for tuna boats.


 6> When your wife gets a wobbly-wheeled cart at the
supermarket, she just picks it up and carries it around like a hand
basket.


 5> Manages to work "testicle size is overrated" into
every conversation.


 4> He's far and away the best player on his T-ball
team -- and the *only* one with a beard.


 3> Kicks your mailbox off its post, then says, "I'll
ask again: How many boxes of Thin Mints shall I put you down for?"


 2> The Starbucks barista has taken to grinding the
beans for your latte in his teeth.


 1> Just went 4-for-5 with three homers against Randy
Johnson -- while on her period.


            
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